Reaction post-Bubba.

Bubba's burial is one event permanently etched into my memory. I remember refusing to bury him in the first place. After dad forced me to, I couldn't bring myself to place him in the hole I'd dug up. When I finally plucked up the courage to do it, I covered him up, then dug back in, removed him and wouldn't stop holding on to him. This happened another three or four times until my dad started getting mad. Finally, I successfully buried him and returned home. 

That night, I cried terribly on the phone with my boyfriend. He patiently heard everything I had to say about Bubba. I killed him.. I feel extremely guilty.. He was the best turtle ever in the whole wide world..Five short months.. Never IMAGINED I would lose him so fast.. It isn't fair.. He was supposed to grow old with me.. Not able to believe it.. Wasn't even alive for my birthday.. 

The worst part was that his death couldn't have happened at a worse time. It happened the evening before I had two exams. I skipped the first one and somehow managed to do decently well in the second one. This was immediately followed by four more examas, two on each day. I can't lie that it was impossible for me to concentrate on studying, what with my lock screen wallpaper, home screen wallpaper and phone gallery full of his pictures, starting from his arrival at my home to his burial. I'm not going to upload his pictures after his death because it'd seem like I'm publicizing his death, and would just be wrong. Immediately after the exams, I left for Bangalore to attend my cousin's wedding, the same day as my birthday. I slowly recovered over the days, and now I've accepted the fact that he just wasn't meant to live for so long.

I still can't bring myself to remove his picture from my lock screen and home screen wallpapers on my phone. So I see him every time I use my phone. Initially, I used to stare at his pictures and a lump formed in my throat. But now, it's fine. I merely smile and remember the amazing times I had with him in those five months.

I've taken a firm decision not to buy any more turtles until the below provisions have been made:

- A vet who looks at turtles in my vicinity.

- An aquarium with provisions for the turtle to shift from land to water, and vice versa, any time he likes.

- Filter, temperature control and sea weed in the aquarium.

- The ability to be able to feed him different kinds of meat- shrimp, fish, worms etc.

I will probably have to move out of India to have this perfect atmosphere, and I ever do, I'm gonna bring another turtle up and swear that turtle will live to be thirty years old, at least.

R.I.P. Bubba: June 26, 2013-November 24, 2013.

I believe that the title of this blog post will suffice to explain what I'm going to write about. Yes, the unbelievable, the unimaginable, the unthinkable has happened. I lost my first pet ever, my darling red-eared slider turtle, about two weeks ago.
The reason I've waited so long to post about this is that I wasn't able to get myself to write about it, being scared and vulnerable. I'd adopted escapism, convincing myself that I was too busy to write blog posts. But now, I realize that I'm in a place where I can comfortably talk about his death without getting overwhelmed.
So, the burning question: How did this horrific thing happen? I shall describe the set of events that took place roughly fifteen minutes before his death. My dad arrived home from work, and asked for a cup of fresh tea. I remembered Bubba and approached his tank to remove him and put him into his feeding bowl. Yes, it was his feeding time. He was floating on the surface of the water in his tank, occasionally showing some form of movement. I thought to myself, "He's oddly inactive today!", but didn't give it further thought. Since it's the winter here, it's pretty cold, so I thought maybe it's harder for him, him being a cold-blooded animal and what not. This is what I associated his inactivity with.
So, I heated up some water in the microwave. It was barely luke warm, so I thought it'd be okay. When I picked him up from his tank, he went into his usual wriggling mode, and I felt better- yes, he's fine. So I slid him into the luke-warm water in the feeding bowl. He went into a frenzy never seen before. He swam around at such top speed it was difficult to catch him with the eye. He started blowing bubbles from his nose and sort of yawning. I thought he was welcoming the warm water and was happy. So, I went ahead to the kitchen, made tea for dad, poured it into a cup, and went to look at Bubba again.
He had calmed down and was sleeping at the base of the feeding bowl. Or that's what I thought, prima facie. Then, my stomach gave a sudden frightful churn. No, something was wrong. He's too quiet. I prodded him, to no reaction. I picked him up and stroked him. Nothing. This was when his face caught my eye. His eyes were closed shut, his head partially retracted into his shell, and his mouth gaping wide open. Like he was screaming out loud. My fingers trembled, and I burst into uncontrollable tears. I ran to the phone to call my mum, who was in Bangalore. I was crying insanely on the phone, unable to speak a word. She calmed my nerves and told me to check more carefully.
That's when the Google research began. "Signs of dead red-eared slider". "My red-eared slider won't close his mouth"... I tried everything. Bringing his food pellets to his mouth, blowing on his eyes, turning him over to see if he's turn back the right way up (the test never fails- they ALWAYS turn back up). But, alas, he was gone. I informed a few close friends. When all was tried, I went downstairs with dad and buried him under a tree opposite my bulding.